Saturday, February 1, 2014
Sex Drugs Rock & Roll; Time for another Super Bowl.
Hooray it's Super Bowl time!!!
This year we have the Denver Broncos
(sworn enemy of the Raider Nation)
vs
the Seattle Seahawks
(who beat the San Franciso 49ers so they can't be all bad)
This is the true American New Year. January doesn't count... that's inventory reduction month. Everyone is still hungover from the holidays, miserable because of a failed suicide attempt, or traumatized by a successful murder/suicide attempt within one's own social circle. (Amber Seymour R.I.P.)
Well, fuck all of that! It's time for one more PARTY before we get the rest of this stinkin' year going. Since we don't burn Wickermen, or sacrifice virgins, or have massive slut-oriented pagan orgies anymore it all rides on the SUPERBOWL.
Although the Super Bowl is known for being the #1 Wife Beating Holiday (commonly called domestic violence) and the #1 Prostitute acquiring holiday (ironically called "punting" in the UK)... it turns out that those are all a pack of filthy dirty lies:
4 Misconceptions About the Super Bowl You Probably Believe
According to that article the "Wife Beating" thing is completey made up. Fabricated if you will, by those who wish do besmirch the Great American Holiday. Because really the Super Bowl is a celebration of Testosterone, the wonder-hormone that works wonders!
Over confidence, increased risk taking, increased aggression, impulsive decision making; everything that makes America great. Plus testosterone improves key cognitive functions like memory, focus, and spatial ability. Nothing illustrates the glories of testosterone like the spectacle that is the SUPER BOWL!!!
Too bad Beyonce won't be there for halftime. She was real easy on the eyes. I don't really care who wins the Superbowl and I care even less about the John Frusciante free Chili Peppers (yawn). They better not do that "socks on cocks" gag... I'll just turn the goddamned thing off!!!
So in conclusion: The Broncos cheerleaders are more sexually attractive... but not by much. Denver's Airport is larger than Sea-Tac, but have you tried that salmon they got up there in Washington? So I don't know who will win but the best Super Bowl moment ever was Janet Jackson's sunshine-tit.
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